spiritof76

I'm in Cornwall, visiting Mum and Dad. I went Christmas shopping with Dad today, more on that tomorrow.

The Susan Boyle Schmaltzfest is on ITV in the background. Simon Cowell and Piers Fuckface are banging on about how "she dreamed a dream" and how inspired they were by her voice and her personality blah blah...

I just want the mask to slip and one of them to say, "We looked at her and thought, Wahey, we can make absolute fuckloads of cash! Weeee! Money fight!"

I really must stay away from internet conversations with climate change deniers.

Run this utterance, which I just found on a Facebook group, through your fail detectors.

"far too many people out there believe that climate change is happening because of the data provided by scientists"

*facepalm*

On Comment is Free today....Don't listen to Sarah Palin's advice about climate science.

Next to come...?

Don't listen to Gordon Brown's advice about charisma and wit.


Don't listen to Tiger Woods' advice about safe driving.


Don't listen to Davina McCall's advice about molecular nanotechnology.


I'm sure we could come up with more of these. Submit your own versions in the comments thread.

Today I have a conference on attachment theory. I'll try not to get stuck. (No, my wit does not get any better at this time of the morning.) In the evening, I've got my work's Christmas meal, which I've barely thought about.

Tomorrow I'm heading down to Plymouth until Monday to see Dad. He's been well enough for a short holiday in France, but Mum is worried that he's getting increasingly tired and unsteady on his feet.

Clear proof that climate change denial is a load of cobblers: Sarah Palin has embraced it.

I'd been thinking earlier that climate change denial is basically creationism for people who think they're too clever and educated to believe in silly things like creationism. But then Sarah Palin probably does believe in creationism, so I may have to rethink that particular epithet.

They've published Sarah Palin's rant against the "radical environmental movement" (translation: the entire scientific discipline of climatology) on Comment is Free, for the CiF commenters to digest and give their thoughts on. The words "fish" and "barrel" spring to mind.

I'm enjoying the comments thread that follows Palin's article. A few excerpts:


In testing times like these - I always ask myself - What would Sarah Palin do?

++++++++

I have to admit I'm a bit of a climate sceptic but with Palin on the sceptical side I'm inclined towards believing.

++++++++

You are Tina Fey and I claim my £10.

++++++++

Hmm who to trust on science, an idiot who has spoken up in favour of creationism or just about every major scientist out there...........


Etc

Yesterday, I was at The Wave climate change protest in London. Police estimated the crowd as 20,000 people. The organisers put it as 40,000. Either way, it was a hell of a lot.

I was there as a safety steward, though this didn't really involve much more than walking along with the crowd in a hi-vis vest.



Yes, it really was that cold and wet. That's global warming for ya.

( Photos of protest, fancy dress, giant contraptions, wingnut climate change deniers and wingnut Trotskyists )

I'm starting to look forward to attending The Wave in London next Saturday. It's a big protest designed to build political momentum about climate change, coinciding with the start of the Copenhagen Summit.

I'll be there as a safety steward, running around in a hi-vis orange vest with an Oxfam logo on it.

They never told me about the flashdance element of the protest though. It looks like I may be expected to do this:



Um...

It's like the Macarena for eco-worriers.


That could be either a lot of fun or hideously embarrassing. Possibly both simultaneously.

Any of my London-based LJ friends fancy going along to this? You can mock my hi-vis vest, and then show off your slow motion freestyle moves.

Who says recession only has downsides? For one thing, it got Tracey Emin pissing and whinging and threatening to leave the country over the 50% income tax rate.

Naturally, as with her partner in "oh noes, I'm earning a fortune and they want me to pay some taxes" Michael Caine, she never actually did leave the country, and is now saying she never said it and the Guardian were mean to her so she's taking her ball.

In other reasons to be cheerful in the recession, Dubai is collapsing around its own bloated ears. Yep, everybody's favourite built-on-slave-labour uber-plutocratic gomorrah is completely buggered.

In fact, the best news to come of out of the recession is that The World (as in the collection of islands in Dubai for the super-rich, not the actual world) may never be completed.



Is this not just the ultimate triumph of money over taste? It looks like Butlins would look if designed for the likes of Ernst Stavro Blofeld. My first thought was, "Why not just build a fucking town? It's a lot cheaper and you don't have to get in a boat to go to the corner shop for a carton of milk." My second thought was that when global warming kicks in, the slightest rise in sea levels will wash the whole bloody lot away.

I also had fun reading the comments thread to this YouTube video. A few samples:

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

So what are you all gonna do with your East Indian slaves now? At least have the decency to ship 'em back home."

and

"Nice promotional.........I live in New England. Middle class family. I can go to the ocean in Massachusetts or Maine. I can climb mountains in New Hampshire. I can ski in Vermont. Go swimming in beautiful lakes in Maine or New Hampshire. I can take a ride in the lush beauty of the Berkshires of Massachusetts. I can visit Boston one of the best cities in the USA. I have 114 cable channels. The best food supermarkets can offer. Why would I want to go to an island near the desert?"

and

"i will buy your island for $1"

I didn't get to steward for Oxfam at Glastonbury this year due to work commitments. I've every intention of making damn sure I get to do so next year.

Only 7 months to go. I'm so excited, I'm so excited...

U2 will headline next year's Glastonbury festival, it was confirmed today. Bono and co have been slated for the Pyramid stage's top spot on Friday 25 June, in what will be their first ever appearance at the festival. Organiser Michael Eavis had promised something special for Glastonbury's 40th anniversary, and in booking a band who have been rumoured to headline every year since the mid 1980s, he's done just that.

Oh, fuck off.

Well, that really killed my Glastonboner.

Still, I'm sure it'll be like 2008 all over again. I had an excellent spot last year for Jay-Z's headlining act.

And that excellent spot was at the Park Stage, watching CSS.

In the meantime, on December 5th I'll be donning the hi-vis Oxfam stewards vest for The Wave, a major protest in London demanding action on climate change.

Come along, raise awareness, mock my Oxfam steward vest.

On today's Comment is Free, the Beatrix Campbell Award for Total Lack of Self-Awareness goes to...well, Beatrix Campbell, explaining why she's converted from Communism to the Green Party.

I mean, seriously, who writes a paragraph like this?

Macho, manic productionism relies on force, it valorises conquest of nature and other humans. It marginalises the means of reproduction – how societies sustain themselves, breathe, give birth, grow and rest, clean up; how people take care, give pleasure and co-operate.

Beatrix, you wrote that, and made our poor brains hurt by having to read it! Why do you hate us so by torturing us with bad theorising?

Also from her article:

I remained a communist until 1989, when it was all over. I was part of the anti-Stalinist, Euro-communist wing. We were clever, caused trouble, caught the imagination, but we lost. Or maybe we failed.

No Beatrix, you weren't clever, didn't cause trouble, didn't catch the imagination, but you did lose and you did fail.

But Beatrix, what were you believing in between 1989 and 2009? Oh yeah, satanic ritual child abuse, which did enormous damage to childrens services and was so mad even the Daily Mail refused to believe in it.

I'm an environmentalist who attends climate change protests. Beatrix, for the sake of the planet, please please please get the fuck off my side. I think this is what people talk about when they say that climate change is too important an issue to be left to the kind of sentimentalised bubbleheads who infest the Green Party.

Still, if any of you live in Hampstead and Kilburn, you have the opportunity to vote for Beatrix Campbell as your Green Party candidate. Lucky you, eh?

Okay, okay, I've succumbed, assimilated into the Borg and I've started watching the X Factor. I have become one of the sheeple.

So, admittedly from my way-behind-the-curve position of latecoming newbie, here's my impressions of the contestants.

Horseface Bint is very sexy, right up to the point when she starts talking.

Olly is a brickie who does Dad dancing.

Lloyd, ahhhh, Lloyd, you had so much to prove. Is he just another identikit pretty boy, or can he really sing? Congratulations Lloyd, the test results are back, and you're pretty.

Aldi Lenny Kravitz has got a pretty decent singing voice, but he's still an Aldi Lenny Kravitz.

Welsh Bint is actually quite good.

AND JUST WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT IS THIS?????????



Oh, John and Edward, you're like Chico in Duplicate. You're Susan Boyle for the CBeebies Generation. This is so horrific it actually spills over into genius.

Apparently Simon Cowell doesn't like them because he thinks it's exploiting the poor tastes of the British viewing public. Seriously, Simon, you're skating on thin ice with that criticism.

As for the other contestants...Oh, who cares? It's all about John and Edward.

Results show tonight, in which "fuck off, Lloyd" will be padded out to an entire hour.

Poll #1480626
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 42

What do you not give a toss about this week?

Yesterday I went to the Bristol Climate Countdown, where I was stewarding for Oxfam.



It's all about raising awareness of climate change in advance of the Copenhagen Summit, and demanding that Ed Miliband and Gordon Brown get the best agreement possible. They had a load of local bands, and various speakers. Oh, and they were giving out those rubber wristbands that seem to be obligatory for any campaign these days. Theirs were blue, and were referred to as "Mili-bands" (did you see what they did there? Eh? EH?). They also had the rather unfortunate slogan, "Make Carbon History". Erm, not entirely history, surely? Aren't we, y'know, made of carbon?

The bands were actually surprisingly good and included "local heroes" Kid Carpet and Babyhead (are they local heroes? I don't know. I don't live in Bristol.) There's supposed to be a major demo in London on December 5th for the Copenhagen summit. I may well pop along, and give myself a day out in London while I'm there.

( And here's some photos... )

Tomorrow I'm off to the Climate Countdown in Bristol, where I'll be stewarding for Oxfam from 1.30pm to 9pm.

The stewarding responsibilities don't seem to be too onerous. Just wandering around with a radio making sure nobody's setting fire to anything.

Oh, and I get a meal voucher. It's normal for Oxfam stewards to get a free meal for every shift they do. It's not so normal for it to be somewhere like this.

A unique food venue from award-winning chef proprietor, Barny Haughton. A Restaurant, Brasserie, Bar, Deli, Bakery and Cookery School all under one roof.
The UK’s first eco restaurant to achieve a gold rating under the Soil Association's sustainable catering scheme.

Crikey, normally the meal vouchers are for some dodgy burger van. Somebody at Oxfam scored the jackpot.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NICK GRIFFIN JUST GOT TOTALLY PWNED ON QUESTION TIME!

Oh, that was glorious. My favourite bits:

- Griffin trying to explain that David Duke leads an "almost totally non-violent version of the Ku Klux Klan".

- The woman in the audience who told him, "As a homosexual in a civil partnership, I can assure you the feeling of revulsion is mutual."

- The other audience member who said, "I'd like to address this question to Dick...I mean Nick Griffin."

The other panellists did a good job of challenging his statements and not letting him squirm out of awkward questions. As a result Griffin was left looking like a blustering idiot, constantly trying to mince his words and being picked up on it.

So, was the BBC right or wrong to invite him? We've just had an hour of him being totally ripped to shreds on national TV, and all his attempts to claim to be a moderate voice completely blown out of the water. In that sense, this is probably a more effective anti-BNP advert than a thousand Unite Against Fascism demos. So yes, I think the BBC was absolutely right to give the slimy fucker enough rope.

All in all, the most thorough televised humiliation since Donny Tourette appeared on Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

I'll be sitting down this evening for Question Time with a bowl of Metaphorical Popcorn (since I don't have any Actual Popcorn). I'm guessing, and certainly hoping, that Griffin will come across looking like a prize berk. With a bit of luck the other panellists will have done their homework, and will be coming armed with plenty of awkward questions to ask him.

Oh, by the way, Peter Hain, Unite Against Fascism et al, have you ever considered that generating a series of headlines about the show might have turned out to be just a teensy bit counter-productive? You know, in terms of transforming a rather dull politics show that not many people watch into ZOMG TEH MEDIAR EVENT OF TEH YEARRRR!!!! Yeah, good media strategy, you guys. BNP central office must be on their knees thanking you for all the free publicity you've given them.

ETA: Oh dear, I just turned on BBC News 24, and UAF are doing a very effective job of keeping Question Time as a rolling news event on a par with the fall of the Berlin Wall. Their spokeswoman Donna Guthrie seems to be straight out of Leftist Militant Central Casting. She gave an interview to the BBC which could be roughly summarised as, "Yeah he's a nazi fascist nazi nazi but there's been a great turnout tonight from Lesbian Whales Against The Bomb to stop the fascist nazi fascists..." Seriously, you people! Rethink your media strategy!

In amongst all the controversy about Nick "Twat Twat Twattyflaps Fucking Racist Twat" Griffin appearing on BBC Question Time this Thursday, let's have a bit of fun deconstructing this unintentionally funny video, which I'm guessing was put together by a BNP supporter.

(NB: Video contains pro-BNP material, so quite possibly NSFW unless you work at the offices of the Ku Klux Klan)



The video starts with scary, menacing electronic music, reeling through a list of the other panelists.

First up comes 'Muslim MP Baroness Warsi' (erm...you can't actually be an MP and a Baroness at the same time) with pictures of her shaking hands with Teh Ebil Muslims. The menacing music continues to blare...

Then, it's 'Bonnie Greer, "the black writer and broadcaster"'. Not sure why they put "black writer and broadcaster" in inverted commas, as though anybody would dispute that she's a writer, she's a broadcaster, and she's black. Cut to pictures of Bonnie Greer, looking actually quite smiley and cheerful, which jars oddly with the menacing "OMG they let a black person in here! Fear for your lives!" music

Next, 'Jewish MP Jack Straw' although only his great grandmother was actually Jewish, which I'd imagine isn't enough to get you entry into the Illumaniti Space Lizards Conspiracy.

This is followed by 'MP Chris Huhne', who doesn't get to be labelled Muslim, black, Jewish, or Zionist-Communist-Bilderberg-Secret-Chiefs-of-the-World or anything like that. He's just Chris Huhne. Which is fair enough, because...Well, let's face it, who knows or cares anything at all about Chris Huhne MP? He's just a great big vat of bland Chris Huhne MP-ness.

Having set up the evil cabal of traitorous Muslims/uppity blacks/conspiring Jews/Chris Huhne, the music suddenly becomes all chirpy and bouncy as the pictures change to those of Nick Griffin. the great statesman who will save us from the Islamic-Negro-Jewish-Chris Huhne mob. Finally, the video concludes with a boxing referee shouting, "Let's get ready to ruh-humble!"

I'm guessing that if you're a BNP supporter this is how you see this sort of thing. Not just a rather dull poltics debate show, but an actual clash of the titans in which Griffin will be Speeking Ver Troof rather than just reciting half-baked conspiracy theories and probably getting slapped down for it by the other panelists.

I think I'll tune in on Thursday with some popcorn. My prediction is that Bonnie Greer will probably make mincemeat of him, Baroness Warsi will challenge him on some points but elsewhere come across as a bit of a quisling, Jack Straw will land some blows in debate but elsewhere get a barrage of "who are you to moralise? You supported the war in Iraq!" And Chris Huhne.

As for the debate over whether the BNP should be allowed on these shows: personally I'm not thrilled about it, but I doubt it's going to enable Griffin to win over the idiot hordes to the BNP. As missdisco commented to me, "I'm pretty sure the idiot hordes don't even watch Question Time."

Here's a musical dilemma for me. I quite like this new song by Death Cab for Cutie.



Atmospheric, moody...I like it. But the trouble is, it's the soundtrack to the new Twilight music, and as everyone knows, Twilight is a big bag of suppurating gash, designed purely to extract money out of hormonal, angst-ridden teenage girls who want to be turned into vampires by Glittery Emo Vampire Boy.

Poll #1472760
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 24

So what should I do?

Here's the cover of today's Daily Mail:



"Why do so many marriages end in murder trials?"

I would now like to offer my married friends my most heartfelt condolences on your impending murder.

The other day I mentioned the atrocious reaction my cat had to a Bob Martin anti-flea product, and the growing number of outraged pet owners who are using the internet to highlight just how many bad reactions cats are having to these products.

I also joined a Facebook group that collects reports of adverse reactions to Bob Martin products and....oh looky who just turned up on the wall of the group.

Bob Martin wrote
at 14:06
We’re aware of the presence of this group and are concerned that some posts could scare owners into not treating their pets for fleas. We believe in freedom of speech and the presence of groups like this to offer advice. However, we do not think it is constructive or responsible to in any way mislead or publicly publish defamatory sentiments which could ultimately be damaging to both animal and human health, although we’re sure this isn’t this group’s intention. It’s important to present the facts....[yadda yadda boring boring *snip*]

Oh, I just want to rub my hands in a Mr Burns stylee and mutter, "Excellent."

I'm loving that bit about how they're "concerned that some posts could scare owners into not treating their pets for fleas." Oh, Bob Martin. But I do treat my pets for fleas. It's just that from now on I've no intention of doing it with your products.